The noughties in a nutshell (especially for the UK)

The noughties - the first decade of the millennium (cue Robbie Williams's 'Millenniuuumm' single), the second decade I have lived through (fully), and the decade I received all my formal education in, (ha!)

You might want to start this decade by renting a car in Dublin and driving around Ireland. You might instead simply want to reflect on what characterised the glorious noughties. I have narrowed my list down to six key aspects of the last ten years:

1) THE INTERNET - I remember the days when you had to go and watch half an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S while you waited for a page to download on the internet. I must have been 14 so this inefficient way of surfing the web was rife in around 2002. Before then, the net was still a work in progress. By the mid noughties however, the great British public became spoilt. Most people now have Broadband and if you’ve got wireless as well, then you’re laughing.

Most influential online website: it’s got to be either Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, Wikipedia or Google. I’m gonna go for Facebook as it usurped MySpace’s place as the everyday person’s social networking site and even managed to mess up Simon Cowell’s plans for the Christmas number one this year. Google is a close second, but we had Altavista and Yahoo before then.

2) REALITY TV - Watching people sit there and do something remotely entertaining every 10 hours became popular with Big Brother. George Orwell was prophetic when he said that "Big Brother is watching you". And there’s reality TV for everyone, everyone who enjoys reality TV anyway. If you prefer the sardonic tones of Simon Cowell, you can watch The X Factor one half of the year and Britain’s Got Talent the other. If the old-fashioned, loveable cringe-factor is more up your street, watch 81-year-old Brucey strut his stuff on Strictly Come Dancing. And if you prefer viewing non-celebrities, you can tune into The Family, The Apprentice, Wife Swap, Supersize vs Superskinny… the list goes on.

Most influential reality TV programme: It’s got to be Big Brother as this was the foundation of the reality TV era. It's entirely appropriate that BB complete with Davina and her excited tones, (I am a fan though) is coming to an end in 2010. Singing competitions such as The X Factor have also gone global so this comes in respectable (hmmm debatable) second place.

3) CELEBRITY CULTURE - The above two technologies have contributed to the way celebrity culture dominates our society. And the idolisation is on a global scale. Take David Beckham as an example. People in China love the England footballer. People closer to home in the UK also love Becks, even dubbing him Golden Balls at one stage. Meanwhile, he’s living in the USA making friends with A-list Americans like Tom Cruise. He personifies celebrity culture taking over the planet.

Most influential celebrity: David Beckham or Mr Barack Obama (first African-American to be named American president in case you hadn’t heard.)

4) ISLAMOPHOBIA – 9/11, The War On Terror and 7/7 are expressions that have developed in the noughties. People think of Islam as an extremist religion although there are plenty of peaceful Muslims around. Let’s hope fascists like Nick Griffin don’t exploit any Islamophobia in the west at the moment.

Most influential Muslim: Osama Bin Laden. Barack Obama said it would be one of his priorities to find this Saudi who changed the lives of people across the globe post-9/11. No one knows where he is, but his presence remains strong.

5) THE SUPERNATURAL: Arts and literature of this decade have featured wizards, vampires and werewolves and people have been going crazy for them!! J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series thrilled adults and children alike, while the Twilight books and films have left millions of teenage girls lusting after vampires and/or werewolves. Who knows what next year's literary craze will be?

Most influential supernatural work: The Harry Potter books. These showed that people needed a bit of magic in their lives and made author J.K Rowling, who lived in council accommodation at one point, one of Britain's richest ladies.

6) OFFBEAT FASHION – the clothing of a decade becomes the theme for future fancy dress parties. The noughties’ fashion trends take most of their inspiration from the eighties with the comeback of skinny jeans, leggings and legwarmers. Topshop/Topman being the high-street store of choice in the UK indicates the fashion of the noughties to be less manic than the eighties, but still a little funky. Other than the grunger fad some of us went through, fashion trends have improved since the nineties. No question.

The clothing item of the noughties: Skinny jeans, no matter what sex you are. Crotch alerttttt if you are a man though. Be warned.

New Year's Resolutions

So I can’t wait ’til Christmas even though there will be no family ski holiday.

And then we welcome in the new year and all the resolutions that come with it.

Unfortunately, I don’t smoke so I can’t just attempt to quit this habit come January 2010.

Instead, I am resolved to carry out two of the following:

1) Pass my driving test
2) Land a slick journalism job
3) Learn a language (preferably Spanish or Urdu)
4) Travel

At the very least, I will raise the money to go travelling and become a qualified driver.

No more buses, no more pain.

Driving: the chink in my armour

I HATE THE BUS. Except for the 65 and the 34 of course, the amazing buses that delivered me safely to and from school and university respectively.

In other news, driving is going okay.

I’m not gonna lie, I’m not a natural.

However, I am slowly but surely getting there.

I have mastered roundabouts and the three point turn.

On the flip side, I’m always putting my gear into first when I want to go into third.

Swings and roundabouts eh?! Roundabouts galore. First, second, third exit – I’m on it.

But my ambition to hire a car in Dublin is far off in the future.

Jacket Love

All good things come in jackets. Jacket potatoes for a start - yum.

This year’s Christmas present of choice: a leather jacket please.

I know Santa is following this blog. This post may or may not therefore be a massive hint for him/her.

I’ve found a decent range of leather jackets so Santa can just click on the link to check them out.

I must say I am getting into the Christmas mood. You can call me the Anti-Scrooge if you like.

Bring on the mince pies, festive music and bloated television-viewing.

However, no matter how Christmassy I feel, jacket potatoes will always be better than roast potatoes.

The X Factor Final 2009

So, what is The X Factor about other than Simon Cowell pocketing a lot of cash? Impressive singing ability or performance swagger? Tonight’s final might give us a clue.

It’s Joe versus Olly: the voice vs. the moves, the boy vs. the man, the north vs. the south… the list goes on.

So far this evening, we’ve had this year’s X Factor hopefuls sing a Take That number, George Michael perform his dodgy new Christmas song and Sir Paul McCartney give an… interesting… performance. (He remains a legend though.)

And now we’re about to find out who this series' winner is.

Cue Dermot: "The winner of The X Factor 2009 is... JOE."

Anisa’s verdict: it should have been Danyl.

Pre-Budget report 2009: What the papers say

A PIECE I WROTE FOR INTHENEWS.CO.UK

Alistair Darling yesterday delivered his final pre-Budget report before the next general election. Today, inthenews.co.uk rounds up the papers' views.

Beginning on a positive note, the Mirror nodded its approval. The paper declared that the government's spending plans "make sense when the private sector is weak", whereas the Tories' ideas would have caused another Great Depression.

While praising Labour for "being open about a tax increase", the Mirror also conceded the rise in national insurance would not "be greeted by dancing in the streets".

The Times was less impressed with the report. Full of ridicule for Darling's spending plans, the paper called them "the latest instalment of a long-running British comedy – Carry on Spending" while emphasising that the need to reduce the deficit is "severe".

Contrasting Tony Blair's approach to that of the present government, Darling was said to have missed "the big picture" by policies such as free school meals and reducing bingo duty.

The Times concluded that the government had "decided to give up governing".

The Guardian was not so scathing but thinks Darling could have been "bolder" by reforming the tax system to a greater extent, and getting extra revenue out of capital gains and green taxes.

Despite beliefs that the report had gone for "small manoeuvres" such as the boiler scrappage scheme, the paper commended the government for introducing free school meals and increasing child and disability benefits.

Similarly, the Independent said that the report dealt with menial issues, or using their vegetable metaphor, "small potatoes", in the scheme of things.

The Independent deemed Darling's plans on how he would reduce the structural deficit to be unclear, and therefore this was the "glaring hole" in his pre-Budget report, words which dominated the headline.

The paper added its belief that Darling's report was "shaped more by politics than economics".

The Financial Times also thought "little information" was given about public spending plans and reducing the deficit.

Although the paper described the report as "dissatisfaction delayed", it said the tax on bonuses was "justified" and "welcome". It warned the government not to embark on a "wider assault on the City", but to ensure banks do not "escape" the tax.

The Financial Times is eager to know how the Tories plan to raise revenue if they reverse the increase in national insurance.

The Sun fumed its disappointment in the pre-Budget report, agreeing with George Osborne that it was a "pre-election report", tiptoeing, or "skating" around the £800 billion Britain owes.

According to the paper, "Sun readers" will have to "pay for fat cats and wasteful government" due to the increases in national insurance contributions and VAT called for by Darling.

Extremely unhappy with the government's plans for dealing with youth unemployment, the Sun did however admit its support for £2.5 billion more to be sent to troops in Afghanistan.

As far as the Sun is concerned, we are all "staring into the abyss" and Darling wasted his chance to show he wanted to pay off Britain's debts and reduce the deficit.

The Nature Of Surprise

Surprise is one emotion that does not have positive or negative connotations. It’s not like anger which is obviously a terrible feeling, or happiness which is entirely positive.

That’s why you usually have to describe a surprise, e.g. ‘What a wonderful surprise!’ – which, in fact, it was.

Indeed, my friends and family had been plotting and scheming behind my back over the last two months to arrange a surprise party for my 22nd birthday last Friday.

I think it was such a good surprise because everyone was making an effort with each other and mingling – older people, younger people, family, friends, the good, the bad (not the ugly, there were no ugly people at my party thank you very much).

However, some people would not enjoy a surprise party being thrown for them. Looking rough compared to everyone else as you enter, feeling the pressure as the centre of attention and hoping everyone gets on is quite stressful.

But I loved the stress. And I loved the party. Thanks everybody.

Baby It's Cold Out There

Those bloody winds have been keeping me up at night. SO ANNOYING! Most days last week, I had to watch Peep Show on 4oD into the early hours of the morning to block out the howling.

As the weather gets increasingly cold, I, unsurprisingly, feel colder too!

I really need to stock up on some warm clothing.

I came across a website selling really funky cardigans including the ones below:







I love the ruching on all the cardigans pictured above. I can’t believe the khaki one is only £8! The red one looks quite Christmassy.

I can't get both... can I?

It's Driving Me Crazy

I'm 21 and still can't drive. Sad times. But on the plus side I passed my driving theory today. Yeah baby!

5 things I will do when I pass my practical test:

1) Add 'Full Driving Licence' to my CV

2) Get myself insured on a car

3) Buy myself one of those iTrips to play tunes on my iPod out loud while driving

4) Probably give my younger brother a few lifts to his friends' houses

5) Road trip(s)!

And once I've done those 5 things, I'm going to rent a car abroad. I want to experience the beauty and charm of Ireland and reckon it'd be fun driving over there. I've already found a site offering good deals on car hire in Ireland.

Just gotta pass my driving test first...

Could 'Jedward' Increase Tourism In Ireland?

Could the X Factor contestants John and Edward promote tourism for Ireland like the comedian Rhod Gilbert does for Wales?

The cheeky Dubliners capture an outsider’s perception of Irish people – fun and blessed with the gift of the gab.

Personally, I’d love to wander through the streets of Dublin, have a few drinks and maybe even an Irish sing-song.

When I can legally drive, I would drive from Dublin to Cork to see the latter's amazing coastline. I haven't even done my driving theory test yet (it's later today), but I've already checked out Dublin car rental services online.

I reckon Jedward could strengthen one's desire to visit Ireland. However, while I admire their spirit, they have got to be voted off The X Factor so they can pursue careers either promoting Ireland or presenting kids' TV, and stop hurting our ears with their “singing”.

Danyl Johnson to win!

A Birthday Dilemma

I’m turning 22 on the 22nd November 2009. 2009 is the only year where my date of birth and age will be the same. Joy!

Birthdays are a hassle to organise. Although I’ve had a fair few memorable birthdays, the pressure to do something good always takes over my life beforehand. And of course, the same girly question plagues me each time I celebrate getting older,(men look away now): what the HELL should I wear?

I came across a great collection of evening dresses online and have shortlisted three of these. All three are reasonably priced, but only one of the fabulous futuristic numbers pictured below will be my birthday dress. Hmmm...







At the moment, I'm thinking Dress Number 1. I could wear a red rose in my hair with Dress Number 2 though. Dress Number 3 is probably a bit safe. Let me know your thoughts!

Introducing The Boxman

While I’m on the subject of new graduates (check out my previous post), feast your eyes on the self-proclaimed ‘boxman’ below:



This jobseeker stood in Canary Wharf on Friday, wearing a huge sign urging employers to ‘think outside the box’ when hiring staff. He was getting a large amount of attention from passers-by when I saw him, and lots of them were asking for his card.

The young lad, who graduated from Oxford University this year, told me of his disillusionment with applying for jobs online.

I think he showed creativity in his approach to getting a job, not to mention a great deal of commitment by advertising himself in the cold. Legend. He can speak a ridiculous amount of languages too.

He gave me permission to take a photo of him – what a nice guy, I hope he gets a job soon.

If YOU want to give ‘the boxman’ a job, email him at hiretheboxman@googlemail.com.

And if you want to give me a job, email me at anisak1987@hotmail.co.uk.

Get Sally to Ghana!

It’s a tough time for jobseekers but Sally Greenwood is one recent graduate determined not to let this year go to waste. In January, she is off to Ghana to volunteer in an orphanage for six months.

Sally’s worthy work in Ghana will be unpaid but she is raising money to cover the cost of her accommodation and flights - a wise decision in this time of economic uncertainty.

She has secured funding from various sources, including a charity called the Hazel's Footprints Trust who sponsor dedicated volunteers doing placements abroad. This trust was set up in memory of Hazel Scott Aiton, a much-loved young girl, who had a life-changing experience volunteering in Namibia before she tragically died in a car accident in 2004.

People also sponsored Sally to run 10 km dressed as a safari car. Sally gave her view on this challenge, saying: “The cardboard boxes around my midriff made the run even harder, but it was worth it for the donations and the photos up on Facebook.”



So far, Sally has managed to raise 26% of her target.

She is now looking forward to her next fundraising event - a barn dance with a live band in Derbyshire’s Hartington Village Hall.

Please visit Sally’s JustGiving page to see more details about her barn dance and her other fundraising.

Good luck Sally!

*ring ring* - UH OH.

I have just had one of those annoying phone calls where the person on the other line is trying to sell you something, in this case a television channel. The caller probably detests his/her job more than you or I hate these types of phone calls. (Believe me, I’ve worked in a call centre in the past).

Despite the salesperson's pleas, the call did not inspire me to buy the product. Instead, it inspired me to compile a list of the Top 10 Most Dreaded Phone Calls one can receive. So let's begin by highlighting the worst phone call of them all and end with the most bearable of these feared calls.

1) A call announcing the death of someone you like has to be the worst telephone call you’ll receive.

2) I can’t imagine getting dumped over the phone is pleasant.

3) A job rejection makes you feel that little bit worse about yourself.

4) Prank calls can be creepy.

5) Someone trying to sell you something over the phone is infuriating.

6) Someone collecting market research is almost as bad.

7) A person asking you to support a charity over the phone makes you feel guilty and cheap if you choose not to donate.

8) Someone who has taken a shine to you calling for a meet-up when you don’t really like them can be awkward.

9) If you are one of those clever people who fellow students rang up at school for the answers to homework in Year 7, that was probably a bit annoying.

10) The more cynical among you might not enjoy a chat with someone calling for your mum/dad before you pass over the phone to the above-mentioned parent.

Having completed my list, I am going to ... ooh hold up, my phone’s ringing.

'Hello.'
'Hello, is that Anisa Kadri?'
'Speaking.'
'Hello Anisa. We’d like to offer you a job at the BBC.'

Okay, I just lied. It was my old school friend Izzy. But she’s lovely. And it wasn’t any of the feared callers listed above thank god.

Bye for now.

What came first - the CHICKEN or the WOMAN?

The English language is wonderful, but it does do funny things.

A woman probably doesn't associate herself with a chicken when she looks in the mirror. I certainly don’t.

However, language has created a link between us women and this rather frustrating species.

Indeed, there are many ways in which one can refer to a woman using chicken terminology.

Consider the following examples: If someone said to a female, 'hey chick', she wouldn't bat an eyelid.

A man only says he is a 'breast man' or a 'leg man' when talking about parts of the female body or a chicken's anatomy.

A woman goes out on a 'hen night' before a girlfriend's wedding.

Women with attitude and chickens are said to 'strut'.

Flabby arms are described as 'chicken wings.'

So ladies, if anyone ever happens to say to you on a hen night, 'hey chick, I saw you strut in just now and am a bit of a leg man so you would be just my type if you didn't have those chicken wings,' run a mile.

And remember, you are not a chicken.

THAILAND: Victim of its own success?

Do you know someone who has been to Thailand? Probably. After all, it’s an extremely popular tourist destination and there are certain sites in Thailand which draw travellers like moths to a flame.

One event backpackers flock towards is the infamous Full Moon Party held in Koh Phangan. Thousands of people, mostly Westerners, rave all night on Haad Rin (Sunrise Beach) absolutely loving it.
Why all the love? Quite simply, there seem to be no rules. The iconic buckets of alcohol sold on the beachfront get the ravers sufficiently inebriated, and a few hours into the night they are romping on the beach and weeing in the sea. While professionals do tricks with fire, the lethal buckets of alcohol are responsible for tourists burning their legs as they attempt to leap over long flaming skipping ropes twenty at a time. And, despite Thailand’s strict anti-drug policy and policemen wandering up and down the beach, there’s still ample opportunity to buy illicit substances if you want them.

A couple of overnight trains away from Koh Phangan and the other South Islands is the city of Chiang Mai, the second biggest in the country. The overnight rainforest treks on the outskirts of the city are a backpacker must. After a difficult hike often led by cheeky tour guides, students stay the night with a Thai tribe. An indoor fire is built and quite an atmosphere is created, with the tour guides and backpackers singing and proceeding to chat away through the night. A trip to the waterfall, an elephant ride, white water and bamboo rafting are also included in this reasonably priced trek. There are plenty of booths around Chiang Mai to book your tour.

When backpackers get to the capital, Bangkok, they tend to stay as close to the buzzing Koh Sahn Rd. as is possible. Plenty of clothes stalls, eateries and bars line this road. If bartering for cheap prices and purchasing your very own pair of Thai fisherman’s pants/fake Havaianas flip flops is not enough, occasionally an elephant is led down this road which you can pay to feed. Poor elephant.



The experiences of Thailand detailed above paint a lively picture. But is it sad that a generic route has been mapped out for backpackers, both for our own enrichment and for the Thai people? The hypocrisy of many indigenous people reducing their culture to easily-packaged money-making schemes is a sad reality.

Travel website, Road Junky Travel, recently placed Thailand as the number one backpacker destination: 'Everything is cheap, everything is available. You want drink beer, you want banana pancake, you want Thai massage, you want see tribe hill people, you want rent beach chalet, you want DVD, you want bungee jump, you want lady boy?' Added to this list could be: 'you want temple, you want sex show, you want boat trip to Maya Beach for 400 baht (£7.32), where The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio was filmed including food, equipment for snorkelling and a stop at Monkey Island?' Admittedly, the Thai experience can sometimes be superficial, but at least it is fairly easy to travel around the country. It might be argued that this makes Thailand a good place to go for a first-time traveller - a gap year student perhaps.

On leaving Thailand, and having experienced its exotica and having had an awesome time, some questions remain. By the majority of us taking the same route, are we being unoriginal? Does the manifestation of Western supremacy and the hypocrisy of Thai people catering for us students while their weak currency prevents many of them from travelling themselves taint our experience? Or might some of us not even think about these issues and be looking forward to raving UK style in preparation for a second trip to Koh Phangan’s official Full Moon Party? The choice is yours.

UNIVERSITY: Party Politics vs. Party Time

The Labour and Conservative parties’ conferences recently dominated the news ahead of the general election. Meanwhile, a whole load of students decided against watching the BBC News at Six in favour of a F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode for the billionth time as they ate their dinner.

Nothing wrong with watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S of course - Chandler’s my fave. And one could argue that he would be more fun on a night out (or indeed a night in) than both David Cameron and Gordon Brown.

But does the tendency to watch old repeats instead of the news suggest that current affairs are not too high on the average student’s agenda?

There are of course those students who keep up-to-date with current affairs through the university societies that they join. Becoming a member of one of the uni’s political parties, presenting the news on the radio and protesting are the routes a number of students take to getting their dose of current affairs. Others might do a course like politics or economics that requires knowledge of current affairs. Some may read the news online from time to time.

Nevertheless, it is extremely easy to get caught up in a world of cramming for exams, boozing in preparation for big nights out and chilling with your friends the rest of the time while at university.

Fellow Nottingham University graduate Emma Petela, who now works in politics, agreed that current affairs are of secondary importance to many students, saying: 'If you ask a student about 50p top rate income tax or pension schemes they probably wouldn't have much of an idea what you were talking about. It is my experience that students live inside a bubble into which very few political issues or current affairs penetrate. Until they start to earn a wage and pay taxes the majority do not take that much of an interest in politics or the outcome of an election.'

Perhaps it is different at other universities. For example, Sussex University gained a reputation of liberalism in the 1960s and might draw more politically motivated people to study there.

There are two occasions where I do remember politics being talked about a great deal around Nottingham University. Students conducting a sit-in protest in one of the university’s lecture rooms over events in Gaza were forcibly removed from doing so. However this had the rest of the student body talking about the way in which the protest was quashed more than the political event itself.

The other occasion did concern a major political event - Barack Obama winning the American presidential election. Most of the students I know stayed up to watch the Democratic leader become the first black man to be voted in as American president. Just another excuse to drink of course.